Eddie might be a little slow on the uptake at times with certain things, but this was something he could relate to a little too well. Something that was so personal he instinctively wanted to flee from Will. But he doesn't. His feet remain rooted into the ground and he found that his throat had begun to close up. There was a massive, massive difference between talking about this with Clara or Max, with friends from home, and...And this.
This which was...maybe..another boy his own age...And Will. The boy he had snuggled up with the first time they met and felt stupid around more times than he could even remember. What if he was wrong though? He could be wrong. He could be and then he would be brutally mortified. But Eddie wasn't so sure he was wrong. He couldn't exactly explain it, but he and Will had been similar since day one.
His hand squeezes abruptly around Will's, and he types out a quick:)
Come on. Follow me.
(They didn't need to have this discussion out in the open. He walks along the sand path with purposeful strides. He wasn't entirely okay with having it in public either. It's enough to make him wonder if he should drop their hands altogether- but he doesn't. He doesn't go very far. Instead, he turns down an enclosed alley where it at least felt a lot more private. As soon as they were relatively deep into the alley, Eddie was gently letting go of Will's hand so that he could tap away on the device with both hands.)
I think maybe you and I are the same. I think I know what you're talking about because I've been going through the same stuff where it never really feels like I'm in my own skin because I'm always trying hard to focus on everything else EXCEPT for that thing about me.
Ive tried real hard too.
But it's impossible to ignore with people like you around and I never know what to do with myself except mostly feel ashamed and stupid and all sorts of other things i cant. that i shouldnt be feeling.
I want things that I'm I can't have either.
(Eddie's mouth felt dry, and he thinks, should he just be outright about it? He glances out of the alley, as if expecting to see Henry Bowers sneering in at him, the word 'faggot' spitting out of his ugly mug. But Henry Bowers wasn't there. No one was.
Eddie takes a quiet, deep breath in, and his fingers shake a little as he types out ...out...Something vague but extremely telling:)
cw: homophobic slur
Oh man.
Eddie might be a little slow on the uptake at times with certain things, but this was something he could relate to a little too well. Something that was so personal he instinctively wanted to flee from Will. But he doesn't. His feet remain rooted into the ground and he found that his throat had begun to close up. There was a massive, massive difference between talking about this with Clara or Max, with friends from home, and...And this.
This which was...maybe..another boy his own age...And Will. The boy he had snuggled up with the first time they met and felt stupid around more times than he could even remember. What if he was wrong though? He could be wrong. He could be and then he would be brutally mortified. But Eddie wasn't so sure he was wrong. He couldn't exactly explain it, but he and Will had been similar since day one.
His hand squeezes abruptly around Will's, and he types out a quick:)
Come on. Follow me.
(They didn't need to have this discussion out in the open. He walks along the sand path with purposeful strides. He wasn't entirely okay with having it in public either. It's enough to make him wonder if he should drop their hands altogether- but he doesn't. He doesn't go very far. Instead, he turns down an enclosed alley where it at least felt a lot more private. As soon as they were relatively deep into the alley, Eddie was gently letting go of Will's hand so that he could tap away on the device with both hands.)
I think maybe you and I are the same. I think I know what you're talking about because I've been going through the same stuff where it never really feels like I'm in my own skin because I'm always trying hard to focus on everything else EXCEPT for that thing about me.
Ive tried real hard too.
But it's impossible to ignore with people like you around and I never know what to do with myself except mostly feel ashamed and stupid and all sorts of other things i cant. that i shouldnt be feeling.
I want things that I'm
I can't have either.
(Eddie's mouth felt dry, and he thinks, should he just be outright about it? He glances out of the alley, as if expecting to see Henry Bowers sneering in at him, the word 'faggot' spitting out of his ugly mug. But Henry Bowers wasn't there. No one was.
Eddie takes a quiet, deep breath in, and his fingers shake a little as he types out ...out...Something vague but extremely telling:)
boys