[ his heart goes out to her and finally he allows himself to squeeze her hand in his, his elbow nudging against hers as he bows his head again. frank castle had always been surrounded by death. he remembers telling daredevil that his buddies dying was just part of what he signed up for, it was never really a blip on his radar. and then when he'd come back and started putting animals down for recreation, well. the fucked up part is the numbers he registered in new york didn't even come close to the innocent blood on his hands overseas. state-sanctioned murder. sometimes he considers his rogue vigilante bloodbath his true service record.
his whole frame is tensing as he thinks about how he's the exactly wrong person to comfort her right now. for as much as he hates that jessica died, it was inevitable wasn't it? it will be for them, too. he's never been scared of dying, but he lied that time on that roof. maybe he was just manic with the thrill of it all; but it does get him. it gets him good; deep in his guts. he held gunner in his final moments, he'd been there when curtis lost his leg. he's cursed, cursed to live no matter who falls down at his feet. ]
Sorry you had to see that. [ it's telling how belated the statement is, but there's no shallowness in the words. he means them with a gravity he doesn't feel now. sleeplessness and the futility of this whole situation have made him numb, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. ]
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his whole frame is tensing as he thinks about how he's the exactly wrong person to comfort her right now. for as much as he hates that jessica died, it was inevitable wasn't it? it will be for them, too. he's never been scared of dying, but he lied that time on that roof. maybe he was just manic with the thrill of it all; but it does get him. it gets him good; deep in his guts. he held gunner in his final moments, he'd been there when curtis lost his leg. he's cursed, cursed to live no matter who falls down at his feet. ]
Sorry you had to see that. [ it's telling how belated the statement is, but there's no shallowness in the words. he means them with a gravity he doesn't feel now. sleeplessness and the futility of this whole situation have made him numb, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. ]