Eddie slows a bit in his steps to stare back at Jake. Thing was, Jake wasn't actually making it more of a thing than it needed to be. The thing about twelve and eleven year olds was that they took these sort of things very seriously. And Eddie wasn't one to break his promises. The proof of that lay in his scarred palms.
Again, he's quiet entirely both externally and internally. It was almost odd to him that Jake didn't mind the affection. If only cause, the reality of it was, they didn't quite know each other. Eddie felt a little bit like they did, of course, as some kids were wont to feel towards special people, but Jake owed him nothing. Certainly not that open-ended kindness of a boy who didn't mind another boy being a little more...affectionate than was strictly normal between boys.
It breaks down a wall inside of Eddie, something he isn't fully aware of, but it's made to crumble all the same in the instance of a single smile sent his way. And a tangible feeling arises around Jake: safe.
Safe in the sense that Eddie could maybe be a little more open with Jake. His staring is unblinking, unwavering, as all of this rushes up over him. Then finally, Eddie does respond.)
(Don't make me promise that. I keep my promises and I don't know if I can keep that one.)
(Promises were a sort of magic for Eddie and his friends. Richie hadn't even made him promise. Eddie wasn't so sure- but he thinks maybe the universe wanted him dead in some distant, cruel way. He knew, rationally, all things died, but somehow it felt a little more personal in his case. He looks away from Jake then.)
(I'll try though. It's not like I WANT to die, and I'm way too big of a coward to play the hero, so you don't need to worry about me being reckless.)
(And finally, after a couple of seconds, Eddie smiles a little.)
(Yeah, I felt really bold. It was weird. I never feel bold.)
(That sentence alone is very telling, though Eddie doesn't expand beyond that.)
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Eddie slows a bit in his steps to stare back at Jake. Thing was, Jake wasn't actually making it more of a thing than it needed to be. The thing about twelve and eleven year olds was that they took these sort of things very seriously. And Eddie wasn't one to break his promises. The proof of that lay in his scarred palms.
Again, he's quiet entirely both externally and internally. It was almost odd to him that Jake didn't mind the affection. If only cause, the reality of it was, they didn't quite know each other. Eddie felt a little bit like they did, of course, as some kids were wont to feel towards special people, but Jake owed him nothing. Certainly not that open-ended kindness of a boy who didn't mind another boy being a little more...affectionate than was strictly normal between boys.
It breaks down a wall inside of Eddie, something he isn't fully aware of, but it's made to crumble all the same in the instance of a single smile sent his way. And a tangible feeling arises around Jake: safe.
Safe in the sense that Eddie could maybe be a little more open with Jake. His staring is unblinking, unwavering, as all of this rushes up over him. Then finally, Eddie does respond.)
(Don't make me promise that. I keep my promises and I don't know if I can keep that one.)
(Promises were a sort of magic for Eddie and his friends. Richie hadn't even made him promise. Eddie wasn't so sure- but he thinks maybe the universe wanted him dead in some distant, cruel way. He knew, rationally, all things died, but somehow it felt a little more personal in his case. He looks away from Jake then.)
(I'll try though. It's not like I WANT to die, and I'm way too big of a coward to play the hero, so you don't need to worry about me being reckless.)
(And finally, after a couple of seconds, Eddie smiles a little.)
(Yeah, I felt really bold. It was weird. I never feel bold.)
(That sentence alone is very telling, though Eddie doesn't expand beyond that.)