Dr. Santa Claus, MD

[saltysanta]

Featuring: Akechi Goro, Noël Christenbell
What's happening: Noël comes to take a look at Akira's clinic and see what he can do to help; Akechi catches him "delivering presents" the way so many little kids dream they could.
What day: February 28th
CW: None yet!


[It's early evening when Noël arrives at the clinic, with a roughly stitched cross-body tote bag made out of a curtain slung over his shoulder. He takes a moment to paint the hinges with fresh oil, then moves on to a window, peering inside. He doesn't see anyone from where he's standing.....

Well, that's not too surprising; Akira is probably still in bed recovering. Noël pulls out his device, still framed by the window as he starts searching for his screen name. As long as he can message the guy to let him in so he can look around, it doesn't matter if Akira goes right back to bed after.]

Comments

[saltysanta]

[Noël raises an eyebrow at Akechi, silent and expectant, and spreads his hands wide as though there's just nothing more he can offer. What? Was he expecting him to say it was just a joke? Or explain himself? What was there to explain? Even if people never seemed to believe him when he said it, it was nothing but plain facts.]

[lowkeycrazy]

[After a bit of gawking, he finally elaborates:]

You're "a" Santa Claus in charge of Europe? There are multiple? And you look... nothing like what most people would think of as Santa Claus.

[He's not doubting you, he's just very confused????

.... he's doubting you a little]

[saltysanta]

[S i g h. Everyone always doubts him at first, often even the kids. It's these damn adults, spreading blatantly false information that they just made up out of whole cloth as the truth..... And then telling kids that all of it was a lie, even after all that! He doesn't discount their existence! Have an exasperated, disgruntled look.]

If we're all alive and accounted for, there are nine of us at a time. There used to be just one, but he needed multiple successors. The appearance everyone thinks of is just a fabrication ignorant adults decided to spread for their own use. At best, maybe one of my predecessors looked like that, but I doubt it. Next?

[Go on, get it out of your system.]

[lowkeycrazy]

[Akechi moves his mouth a bit soundlessly for a few moments. Then:]

Oh.

[He's so stunned he actually wrote out "Oh."

And he— suddenly feels like he's in the confessional at church all over again, meek and small and shamed. Here is, in front of Santa Claus— a... Santa Claus... someone whose job it is to explicitly distinguish the good children from the bad.

And he's well aware where he falls over that line.

Haha... at least he doesn't know, right? He's... in charge of Europe.]

I'm from Japan, but [What should he say? It's an honor? No, no, that doesn't feel quite right... but, a tiny smile edges its way onto his face, completely of its own volition.] I admit, I had wished before that Santa Claus were real.

[saltysanta]

It's possible we aren't around in your world, so you might not have been wrong? That's what I've been hearing from people anyway.

[Noël just shrugs at that; there's really no way to tell unless he met a colleague from another world entirely, given the way adults shamelessly make shit up for their own purposes. Unless someone can give testimony that they met him, like Sora can, or the guys themselves come..... well, it's nearly impossible to tell.]

[lowkeycrazy]

Probably so.

[He never got any presents, but then, he was a terrible kid, so that wasn't great evidence.]

Thank you, for the supplies. Is there anything you'd like in return?

[saltysanta]

[Noël just waves dismissively at that.]

Don't worry about it, Akira and I made an arrangement. I provide supplies and ingredients periodically, and get my meals here.

[And work here too, but that's kind of a separate thing. At least in Reims he's getting paid for his services in something a little more substantial than milk and cookies.]

[lowkeycrazy]

[Ah, he already knows Akira... though that's hardly surprising. Akira seems to know everyone in this little town, pretty much.]

Ingredients, as well? Is there a limit to what you can create?

[saltysanta]

[Akira wouldn't have hired him unless they knew each other at least a little, right? .....Right? Please have some sense of self-preservation, Akira.

Either way, he lifts his shoulders in a shrug. Ingredients are easy; it's other things that are tough.]

It's not like I'm a god or anything, I can't create life. And I've tried making magical things before, but I've never had any luck. If it's not just impossible, then either I don't know how, or I'm just not strong enough.

[In other words, no, Santa can't bring you a pony, no matter how good you've been. He can't make you a magical girl, either. B|bb On the other hand, his other limitation is probably the most damning one, practically speaking.]

Of course, if I don't know anything about what I'm trying to give you, odds are pretty good I'll muff it up somehow too. I've never seen or heard of a lot of the medicine in here, and I don't know what it does or how it's made. I probably couldn't make any of that unless I was able to study up on it.

[lowkeycrazy]

[Akira has been loopy as hell since he came back from death, so honestly, Akechi wouldn't be surprised.

Akechi listens carefully, before his eyes draw to the jug on the floor.]

So then what is this, exactly?

[saltysanta]

That's called laudanum. It's mainly a tincture of opium in alcohol, a bit of a cure all. It's good for things like pains, coughing, diarrhea, and insomnia.

[Enjoy your drugs fucked up archaic medicine?]

[lowkeycrazy]

You know, I'm really not sure what to make of the fact that I just watched Santa create alcohol out of thin air.

[Nor that he would... ever write or say those words? What is his life rn.]

[saltysanta]

What's the problem? It's medicinal. Besides, you don't drink much of it--it's powerful stuff. You measure it out by the drop.

[lowkeycrazy]

Not a problem. Just unexpected.

Many who consume alcohol don't exactly do things befitting of good boys and girls, after all.

[...heh. Himself included, though he never did anything truly awful as a result of alcohol. He's not certain if that makes it better or worse.]

What year do you come from?

[Using alcohol as a cure-all definitely doesn't sound modern.]

[saltysanta]

Their behavior is their business and their problem, isn't it? They're the ones who have to deal with the headache when they wake up the next day, after all.

[Sobriety is a virtue, sure, but that doesn't make alcohol itself evil, no matter what some out-there teetotalers think. What else are people going to drink in the city, after all? Water? Now that's a laugh; nobody wants to puke or shit their guts out. The key is just to be reasonable and keep in mind just how much you're drinking, and you'll be fine.

Either way, he shrugs, looking thoughtful for a moment. What year is it, again.....? It can be a little hard to remember, sometimes. Everything blurs together when you're as cut off from the world as the North Pole is.]

It's 1873. Why?

[lowkeycrazy]

[He does look a little curious when it actually seems to take him a moment to remember, but then he gets his answer. Ah.]

That explains it. Kurusu and I are from the year 20XX.

[Except "XX" is substituted by some numbers, i guess, which are less than 18.]

We've particular medications made just for pain relief, anxiety, etc.

[saltysanta]

[20XX? That's well over a century later; perhaps it's no wonder Noël looks so bewildered. It's hard to even fathom what the world must be like so far in the future, especially given the incredible pace developments are being made, even in his present day.]

Medical science must have advanced quite a lot.

[lowkeycrazy]

Indeed.

[He tilts his head a little at the jug.]

Perhaps he can still find a use for this, though, given that you tell him as much as you can about it.

[saltysanta]

Medicine is medicine, and it seems like it's in low supply around here. Even if it's not as advanced as you're used to, it'll be better than nothing as long as Akira handles it properly.

[Especially considering they're in a situation where having a cough could literally be fatal. In a place like this, they can't afford to take even mild symptoms lightly.]

[lowkeycrazy]

Very true. Your abilities will be exceptionally helpful around here.

And there are children here who might like to meet you. Though the one I've spoken to in particular would probably be skeptical of your existence.

[Akechi... well. He believes because he wants to. There isn't really any harm that comes from believing even if he's wrong, right? It's not as though this guy is trying to use the well-known figure to his advantage, or trying to use it to gain free favors, from what he can see.

Well... he realizes that thinking is a bit naive. But for now, cautiously, he'll accept his story.]

[saltysanta]

I wouldn't be surprised if all of them are skeptical, honestly. Adults lie about us all the time. At any rate, they can believe whatever they want, whether they meet me or not. It doesn't change the truth.

[By now, he's jaded as fuck, to be honest. Can you tell he's used to having his existence defined and denied without consent at people's leisure?]

[lowkeycrazy]

You know, for being Santa, I can't help but feel like you embody the jolly spirit of Christmas very much.

[just. an observation.]

[saltysanta]

Now you're sounding like Rudolph. Just because the kids are supposed to be cheerful doesn't mean I have to do it too. I don't need to be some grinning idiot just to do my job.

[lowkeycrazy]

Some of the magic may be lost on the children if you're scowling at them.

[saltysanta]

Probably. But even more of it would be if I acted insincere; most kids can spot that sort of thing a mile away.