III. (open-ish) i said i've been through a lot of noise

[oorah]

featuring: hotdog & his (close) cr
what's happening? frank is suffering from vaccine side-effects and has been ordered to go to the clinic to take care of it; meanttime max has arrived! and just undergone debarking surgery.
day: march 1 (night) & march 2 all day
content warnings: sick man, sick dog, the whine (not)heard round the world.
notes: if it's feasible that frank or micro would have told your character where he is, then feel free to show up. or if you are sick maybe you are unlucky enough to encounter this jerkbutt. hit me up if you want something specific!

march 1

[ after frank gifted jessica a lovely murder basket, she suspects he isn't feeling himself (joke's on her tbh.) since only just injecting him with the experimental drug that would (with any luck at all) make him immune to kilgrave's powers, she assumes frank's weird behavior is a side effect and sends him to the clinic to get checked out. after akira puts him on bedrest, he's open to visitors, and of course the first person he wants to see isn't a person at all. he texts hawkeye and micro furiously: ] bring me my fucking dog, you assholes.

[ okay, so he might be a little testy. once a sleepy max just out of surgery is brought to the clinic, too, the dog will lay at the foot of his bed, alternating between lazily guarding and even lazier dozing. frank hates being stationary. he hates feeling useless. the aches and pains are taking a toll on him, but not as much as the rising tide of frustration and irritability. even if he's usually not a chill guy by a landslide, today he's especially twitchy. he'll likely be up long into the night fantasizing different and creative ways to make kilgrave hurt. oh, hi kids. didn't see you there. ]

march 2

[ frank hasn't slept much. between the fever and refusing to take anything stronger than aspirin, he's sweating and out of it, an angry red rash climbing steadily up the back of his neck to peek out of his black jumpsuit collar. the blankets are on his feet, but he keeps kicking them off. he hates being sick, and he knows he's a terrible patient besides. maria always used to scold him for acting like a child; or worse than their actual children since they took being sick like a champ, just happy for the day away from school. he could endure torture and pain aplenty, max the dog had witnessed both first-hand. he lived in bunkers buried in the sand and traveled to countries that were just holes in the ground, but a little fever and nausea and he's ready to die. every time a cold shiver wracks his spine, he wishes for it even; picturing the bullet in his skull. the doctors telling him a shift in millimeter increment would have killed him. should have, even the way it is.

max is on the floor now, his big block head peeking out from underneath the cot. he watches the door, alerting frank to any new arrival with a tiny growl before shutting his eyes again. the noise little more than a rattly rumble from the dog's barrel chest. the message is clear: you take this one, dad. i'll get the next. ]

Comments

[oorah]

[ he's wide awake and so, so miserable. the fever isn't budging and frank tosses and turns so much that max relegates himself to the floor. at first he thinks the shift in light is an illusion set up by the subtle swelling in his brain, seeing the shadow of the door move across the floor. but then max gives his tiny little not-bark at whoever it is, and frank knows it isn't in his head at all.

frank picks his head up off the pillow, a tiny teddy chilling on the pillow with his massive boulder of a cranium. it's just that heavy to move, too as his eyes loll up to see who it is. faith, oh. that's nice. he smiles softly. hi, faith. ]

[rockypath]

[She smiles back, but it's a bit pained. He looks messed up. What the hell did they give him?

Faith decides to finally step into the room, small tentative things. She stops at the dog a moment. She kneels, holding out a hand for him to sniff. That's what you were supposed to do, right? Faith had never had a dog, no matter how much she'd begged her mother for one. ]

[oorah]

[ frank hopes he hasn't done something wrong by her, but he really can't wade through everything to pull it out right now either way. if she is, at least she's here. that means a lot more than words can say, so it's a good thing they can't say any. max tentatively presses his cold nose against her hand, eyeing her up with big, brown eyes. pet me they seem to say. ]

[rockypath]

[She knows none of this is Frank's fault. Faith is mostly pissed at herself for falling for the trap. And now in the future if anyone messages her for help or to meet her, she very well may think twice and not go at all, unfortunately. Or come with ears plugged and new dagger at the ready.]

[Faith smiles at the dog. Cute. She gladly pets him, hand going over his head and then tentative seeing if he liked ear scritches. Teddy liked them.]

[Finally she looks back up to Frank. She's not sure if he's even really up for visitors. But, well, her she is. She moves a bit closer then types out. Not even sure if he'll be able to respond but it didn't really matter. He's not the most chatty guy to begin with.] You look like hell, PB. Worse than usual.

[oorah]

[ while frank is busy with max, he tries to get up, planting one elbow and making a desperate crawl to the head of the bed. he manages to turn, sitting half slumped over. at least it's progress. then he's digging behind himself for his device, frowning as the teddy bear gets knocked to the floor. oh well, he certainly doesn't have the strength to get it. ]

thanks for noticing [ what a good friend. he forces a smile. ]

[rockypath]

[Faith quickly leans down to snatch the fallen teddy bear. She turns it over and gives him a questioning look. She's gonna guess it's from one of the kids. They're so many more of them now it's starting to become hard to keep track. She sets it down on his side table but well within reach.]

That's me. Little Miss Perceptive. [Her expression falters after the message is typed, instantly regretting it. Because clearly she hadn't been so perceptive. Or she wouldn't have come to Frank when he called. She lowers her device, trying to hide her slip with a forced smile and then changes the subject.] Since when do you have a dog? Been holding out on me?

[oorah]

[ his gaze tracks her hands, watching her put the bear on the table before his eyes read the words. no... neither kara nor faith should have come to the reset room when he'd called. they should've known better. but he should have done a better job warning faith. he has a big blindspot where she's concerned that he doesn't like. he wants to protect her, even if she can kick his ass to sunday and back. his fingers tremble minutely, grateful for the subject change. ]

he just got here. his name is max [ frank looks up, offering her a more sincere smile, though it's too meek to really be categorized as such. he manages to shift his massive legs a few inches and gestures for her to sit, if she wants to. ]

[rockypath]

Yours from back home or new addition? [She would offer to help move him, since it seems like a struggle for him to do it on his own, but she figures he wants to do it by himself. He seems the sort before. Determined to live the struggle. It's probably why she likes him. She's not so different.

She does sit down, moving back to pull up her legs up and sitting cross legged.] I've never had a dog. Always wanted one as a kid. Would always ask. My mom never got me one. But she could hardly care for me or her herself, let alone a dog. Probably good she didn't. [All the same it would've been nice to have something to love.]

[oorah]

i saved him from the irish mob back home

[ like u do. his eyes jump up to meet hers when she sits down, grateful she's hanging out for a while. then he reads her message, thinking... it's probably about time they had a real conversation. they're friends, aren't they? she'd come to help him without even knowing what was wrong. he'll never forget that. ]

my parents were damn near senior citizens. they couldn't control me let alone a dog. and my wife [ he pauses, wondering if he should tell her about maria and his kids. he glances to max on the floor and it strengthens his resolve. he keeps typing. ] she wouldn't ever let me get one either. i was gone too much. on deployment. said she'd be the one saddled with it. not like she was wrong

[ he shrugs a shoulder. he'd still always wanted one. so here's his chance. in this terrifying approximation of hell. ]

[rockypath]

The irish mob? damn. I'm impressed.

[She looks over at him, surprise clear in her face. They've spent so long not knowing much about one another, it almost feels strange to actually start talking about it now. But it would be nice to have someone know more. At this point the person in this shit hole that knows the most about her is Kilgrave. Which is kind of fucking depressing, to be honest.]

[He's got a wife. And she's not here with him. That had to be hard. There are a few people Faith wishes were here, but no one like that. Robin didn't count, they'd barely gotten started and she hadn't really been all that invested in letting it be anything other than a fling. She didn't have time for his Oedipus complex.] But you were back home when you saved Max, right? Did she let you have him then?

[oorah]

kitchen irish. hell's kitchen. put down every one of those sick bastards, but all of em combined don't even hold a candle to our friend.

[ frank shakes his head. it's dangerous to think about kilgrave now. when he's so close to being liberated. when faith could be too. good thing she distracts him by asking about the love of his life who was gunned down before his eyes, huh? ]

i don't have a home anymore

[rockypath]

I'm from Southie. So I know a thing or two about irish mobs. [More specifically vague recollections of them knocking down her door when she was small looking for her absentee father who owed them money and taking what little they had that her mom hadn't blown on booze.]

[She's glad for the subject change from Kilgrave, certainly. But what he says stops her short. Full stop. She doesn't type anything for a while, just letting that sink in. Faith's sure he doesn't just mean he got a divorce. Not with the way he's said it or the look in his eye. What's there even to say? Sorry? That's just a bullshit thing to say when you didn't know what else to say. Of course that is the situation she finds herself in, isn't it?

But while she doesn't know exactly what he's going through. She's been through her fair share. She knows loss. Loneliness even more so.]

You're making one here.

[oorah]

[ he nods, that explains a lot about why they relate, doesn't it? he had heard her accent in town hall before, but it means more when she tells him. and what he's telling her... he knows isn't easy for anyone to hear. or read stupid text on a screen. he doesn't expect a sorry or a perfect answer back. he'd even take a suvject change or an invasive line of questioning. but what he gets instead stuns him.

he thinks of mike and will visiting him. of hawkeye and david saving his dog. he thinks of jessica... but it always hurts to think of her. so he doesn't for long, instead meeting faith's eyes again more steadily. in them is a depth of gratitude he can't express with stupid typed words. instead he leans forward as much as his protesting garbagefire of a body will allow right now and puts a heavy hand on her ankle where her legs are crossed. the message is clear: if i have a family here, you're a part of it. ]

[rockypath]

[She stares down at his hand and her jaw tightens to fight off the tightening in her throat and there's a strangled noise she does her best to muffle in her shoulder. Faith hadn't wanted to take away from the pain of his admission, make it about her like some selfish prick. So she hadn't said she didn't really have a home either. Not for a long time now. And even as a kid with her mom, bounced around from foster care, back to mom, then away again...

Faith never felt she had any place to really call her own. She forces her eyes shut because- fuck, she doesn't want to cry right now. She hates showing weakness. Too many walls sent up around her to protect herself. It's instinct to shut herself off. But she wants family too. Wants to belong somewhere. Anyfuckinwhere.]

[oorah]

[ once he realizes he's not being shrugged off, he drops his device unceremoniously to the bed and leans in even farther. he has to make her bear some of his weight, but he knows he can't hurt her, especially in his weakened state. his forehead presses against her shoulder in a pathetic show of trust and maybe even the L word they're both so allergic to. his hand migrates to her back, pressing in and holding on. family. if david lieberman is the closest thing he's ever had to a brother, then faith lehane can be the closest thing he has to a sister, maybe. if she'll allow it. ]

It's okay. This place is safe. [ and he's safe. he's certainly not going to judge faith for crying when he does all the freaking time. ]

[rockypath]

[She can hold him up that's no problem at all. He might as well weigh nothing, all in all. No, what's nearly more than she can bear is the meaning of it. What he's trying to convey. There's a soft shake to her body when his hand presses against her back, trying to keep herself together. It doesn't help that she's so fucking exhausted from everything that's happened, she feels like she's on walking a tightrope made of dental floss.

Faith's not sure she trusts that this place is safe. That anywhere is, really. But she needs this. She needs family. It's been too long acting like she didn't. Eventually her damn breaks and the tears come unbidden.]

[oorah]

[ he holds fast to her even with her considerable strength holding up his bulky frame. he's blinking back tears in no time when he feels the wetness on his cheek. frank pushes through the fever to sit up a little and shift even closer, pulling her into a hug and slotting his face in next to hers. ] Shhh, [ a soft murmur which is not really a shush but more an encouragement for her to get it all out. frank rubs her back and tries not to cry himself. ]

[rockypath]

[It feels ridiculous to be the one crying when he's the one in the hospital. He's the one who's just admitted his wife is dead. But she can't help herself, it's all just coming out of her like a sieve. Faith hates hugs and will deny this ever happened. At least she knows Frank isn't going to tell anyone.

Faith sinks into it then, arms freeing themselves and moving to wrap around Frank in turn. She's sure to be gentle despite her overemotion. She whispers between sobs.] Sorry, I- [She doesn't even really know what she's sorry for. So many things. Things here. Things back home. For crying too she's sorry. It's all bubbling up now.]

[oorah]

[ frank strokes her hair in what he hopes is a soothing way and hopes he isn't too gross and sick to make this comforting overall really. he knows she needs someone she can trust right now, and he's both grateful and honored that she's here now with him. he blinks and tears fall unbidden down his own face anyway, but he can't be ashamed when they've both fought so hard to get to this point. it means something that they even have the freedom to cry now and he's never letting any of them get hurt again. his body won't withstand it. ]

No. No-- Faith, you don't get to say sorry. You don't get to feel sorry, not for what that sick shit did to you. [ frank swallows, his temple rubbing against hers briefly. his body language is clear: he won't pull away until she wants him to. ] Or anything else, alright? You don't ever have anything to be sorry for. Not by me. [ it's all soft, barely above a gravelly whisper. but just as heartfelt. ]

[rockypath]

[Her breath catches in her throat, a feeling like there's a vice grabbing her by the throat. She doesn't want to meet his eyes but finds she has to. Needs to. Pulling her head back from his just enough, she's staring at him, eyes locked on his despite the cloudiness of still falling tears.] You don't... actually know me, Frank. [She's gonna say his real name so she'll know how serious she's being right now.] My life is just one g-giant fuck up. Maybe what happened here isn't my fault but...

I've done things I definitely gotta be sorry for. Maybe I d-didn't do them to you. Or here. But I did them. [Part of her can't help thinking she deserves to suffer.]

[oorah]

[ he doesn't pause rubbing her back, even as he lets her pull back and meets her eyes unwaveringly. she thinks she could do anything worse than what he's done? that's unlikely. he just told her he killed an entire sect of the irish mafia. but she's right in some ways -- they don't know each other. that isn't the way it feels to him, though. not by a mile. ]

Guess who else is a giant fuck-up? [ one hand pulls away from her so he can rub at his eyes, and then it falls heavily and ineffectually to the bed. ] Frank Castle.

[ there, now he's formally introduced himself. two months too late, maybe, but an effort was made. he tips his head, still looking tired and sick but there's a light behind watery eyes that wasn't there before. a recognition. ]

Be sorry if you have to. I don't have the power to forgive you either way. [ the hand on her back roves up to cup the back of her head, like what he's about to say is really important. ] Everything I ever loved was taken away from me in one afternoon. So yeah, maybe a place like this isn't so bad for a guy like me. [ he sniffs, the hint of a smile on his face though it's mirthless. ] Or at least that's what I thought until that vile piece of trash came out to play. That's sick, isn't it? I thought I finally had it made. In a place where everyone is quiet and monsters have run of it. [ he shakes his head, no, there's not a bone in his body that could ever blame her for anything. not the way she means. ]

If you wanna talk, I'm right here. But... I gotta warn you, I'm much better at the not talking bit. A little too good. [ damn near obliterated his marriage even before that day. ]

sorry. I've written you a novel....

[rockypath]

[Frank Castle. That's his full name? Why had he been so worried about telling anyone? She'd just figured it was something super embarrassing. Like Crotchfelt or Manlick. But she doesn't tease him about it now. That's not the time for that. Maybe later when she's beating him up at the next fight club meeting, if he does in fact still want her around.

And no, it didn't escape her that he admitted to murdering a whole slew of people. And she's not condoning murder, not by a long shot, but at least those people deserved it, at least on some level? Like she'd deserved it when Buffy had stabbed her and put her in a coma. Faith will have to mull that over later by herself. She listens to his words, holding tight on them. He's lost everything, which makes her wonder if it were more than his wife. She finds herself afraid to even ask. Faith presses her lips together in a thin line, quickly taking her hands back to clear her eyes, they felt like they were burning. But she stays close to him, finding comfort in his embrace. She tries to put up walls, avoid acknowledging that she needs people. Need acceptance.]

This place is terrible, I'm not gonna lie. But... it was my chance to be someone else, I think. So I liked it too. So I avoided telling people anything about me. Lies of omission, that's the phrase.

[She needs to know that he'll still want her around. If he knows everything. It's something that's terrified her from the moment of coming here. She's made friends. Family. But none of them knew her. She'd told Poe in an attempt to push him away, minor details of her betrayal but not the entire picture. He hadn't left, so perhaps it will be the same with Frank. But she's still terrified. ]

You don't have to talk. I just... I gotta let you know about me. I can't just keep pretending. Someone will show up eventually, I'm sure. Someone who knew me from before, maybe start talking shit about me. I don't know. Maybe they won't, but- [Faith shrugs weakly. She'd left on better terms with Buffy, but the way they butted heads she could see the blonde Slayer trying to hold it over her head here if she ever showed up.

Maybe Frank's not a good talker but she needs him to know, never mind how much he responds with words. It's how he responds in general. She just wants to be sure he won't change his mind about her. Everything she says spills out like word vomit, a tumult of information she's just dumping at Frank's feet to see what he'll do with it. She's not meeting his eyes, just talking and staring over at Max to avoid seeing how he's taking it all.]

Don't know what you've picked up from other people about where I'm from, or whatever. But my entire world revolves around monsters. Not like... him, but like the Sound Eaters. But usually I can fight them. In Reims, I feel pretty fucking useless. Before here, I was in a battle on a Hellmouth- a literal mouth of hell in California. I'm a something called a vampire Slayer. Called when I was 18, got all these kick ass super powers. No one could ever hurt me again or so I thought, no- I could hurt them instead.

But I betrayed that not long after I got Called. I killed someone on accident. Staked this guy who was sneaking up on me. But then I just... spiraled. Betrayed the other Slayer, Buffy, who only ever tried to help me. But god, I fucking hated her. Everyone always compared me to her. I got these powers, thought that meant I could finally be special, I guess. But I could never be quite as good as Buffy, who had sunshine shining out of her ass. And a family, friends, a nice house, pretty much everything I ever wanted. She tried to help me, but I pushed her away. I tried to kill her. Joined the enemy who was trying to murder the entire town, all because he was nice to me. Gave me a nice apartment, treated me like I was special. Fuck, it was so stupid. I killed another man for him, this time on purpose. Then I tried to kill Buffy's friends. Nearly killed her boyfriend too. Then she stabbed me and I fell off a building and landed myself in a coma. [She takes in a shaky breath, still not looking at him. Only at Max who had his head resting between his paws, tail thumping softly on the floor as she looks at him. She's gotta lay it all out so she keeps going.]

Then the months roll by... I wake up. I try to kill her again. Steal her body. This whole magic thing. She gets it back. So I skip town, find her now ex-boyfriend again, Angel. He's actually the only one who still tries to help me. Even though I'm trying to kill him again. I- [Faith lets out a small sob, hands covering her face but she forces herself to continue.] I tried to get him to kill me. Push him to do it. I knew that I was a piece of shit. I just wanted it to be over. But... he wouldn't do it. Convinced me to turn myself in for the murders, the assaults, the torture. [Yeah, she tortured a guy.]

So I did. Went to prison. 25 to life. Figured that's where I'd stay. But few years later... Angel was in trouble. The guy I tortured, he came to me to help save him. That's how I knew it was serious. So I formed my own 'early release', jumped through the glass in the visiting room, kicked the shit out of some guards, and jumped right out a window. [Suffice to say she could have left that prison any time she pleased. She'd been the only thing keeping her there.]

it's a beautiful one

[oorah]

[ when she pulls back a fraction, so does he, rocking back to sit on his heels. whatever this is, she needs to get it off her chest, and even if he's not much of a talker he is a good listener. he can do this for her, even as the fever presses on his brain and makes everything seem more dire than it already did. he pushes through it, and the pain, to try and focus on her now. his gaze wobbles, but she's not looking at him anyway. he knows from experience that she can't. he knows they were both angry when they got here, obviously. it's what came before that made them that way that remained a mystery to one another -- until now. frank never envisioned telling anyone here his truth. not even his real name. but here they are, and he can't take it back. he wouldn't want to if he could.

as she begins, though it has nothing relative to his life, it's familiar. like a story. this girl had a destiny to save the world; her world. it's simple in a way he likes -- in a way his world could never be. the only people with abilities were freaks like kilgrave and jessica who had been experimented on until they were something beyond human. or maybe an amplification of it. he's not really sure. there are plenty of people from his world that could come here to talk shit about him too, anyway, he knows he's been lucky so far with the additions he's gotten. there's just something poetic about all of this, she says she was called. but she didn't answer it, she shunned it. and for a moment he's not sure he can hear anymore.

then faith gets to buffy, and even his sluggish sick-brain is drawing parallels. his brother and friend: billy, a man with whom he shared all of his bounty. but jealousy had reigned supreme, bubbling just under the surface. of course, frank had been blissfully unaware of that at the time. and so many other deeper, darker things. Faith Lehane is no Billy Russo, and just the pure remorse dripping from her tone tells him everything he needs to know. This wasn't some calculated bid for evil like the man in question. This was a girl who wasn't ready for what the universe gave her. In a lot of ways, frank can relate to that. he'd always had a violent streak, even as a kid. angry for no discernible reason and without an outlet he could've ended up much the same as her.

frank lets her talk for as long as she needs to, and when it's done he knows he's been told the whole truth. he doesn't doubt any corner of her story as being genuine and hers, and he hopes she feels even the tiniest bit lighter for having told it. recognition dawns in his eyes, and he nods, placing clammy hands on the knees of his jumpsuit. there's nothing he can really say to help her, or to prove that he thinks she's still worthy of love. he thinks the same about himself all the time anyway, and still thinks she might reject him if he were to lay his heart so baldly out the way she's just done. food for thought. ]

I broke out of jail too. [ and it was just as dramatic :') ]

[rockypath]

[It's a great weight off her chest to say it all, lay out each detail to someone here. So it can stop feeling like she's hiding it like some lying sack.

When he finally speaks. She lets out a strangled noise that nearly sounds like a cry of pain but it is in fact laughter, the surprise of his response hitting her and relief filling her insides. It builds into a more clear sound, quiet as she can manage until eventually she has to put her hands over her mouth to quiet it, so it's a sputtering and muffled cackle. She sounds hysterical.

She knows this means he's still wanting to have her around. He is right, it's not his place to forgive her. That's Buffy or Angel or any of the others she's wronged. But that he knows it and still wants her to be there. It means more than she can really say.]

[oorah]

[ her laugh is contagious, hysterical or not and a bark of something startled leaves his lips too. he shakes his head, what a pair they make. two fugitives and they end up in this place together. ]

I was always angry like that too. Violent. Sounds like you already learned this the hard way, but if you can find the right place to channel it... [ he can't even finish his sentence. time to abruptly change the subject!!!! ] When I get out of here, I'm gonna put together a prison for that dirtbag. You in?