quietplacelogs

Entry tags:

...

featuring: akira, 9S (

lowkeycrazy )
what's happening? akira waking up in the reset room to find two very concerned people then deals with messed up memories
day: 39 ( 02/23 )
content warnings: death talk, depressing shit, and some vague p5 spoilers

waking up

The first thing he feels is confused as hell. And for several seconds, he continues to lie there, his mind scrambling to make sense of everything. It’s all broken, fuzzy, faded out… Some parts feel similar to watching a movie, while other parts make no sense at all – the context is clearly missing, even if he can’t begin to figure out what said context is…

“Joker! Watch o-“

His head hurts…

”-piece of shit!!!”

… What?

”… echi”

…

”…make a deal—“

Where-… the hell is he? He remembers something about creatures being drawn to sound – they’ll kill whoever makes it? But… where the hell is he? And why? He rolls over onto his back, staring straight up at the ceiling. Heh…

There’s…

… Nothing…

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Oh...

Everything about that reaction is cute, and earns a warm fondness. Briefly, Akira feels slightly compelled to reach out and just. Ruffle Nines' hair? He ignores that desire in favor of listening. And it's after hearing those words, he winds up looking down at the floor. There's a moment where he simply twists a strand of his bangs, thoughts moving at a slightly sluggish pace - he's searching his memories, and well...

A... week...

That's it? But it felt like... months. Maybe it's just because of the figurative holes in his mind? And he's going to be feeling this way for a few days, at least? He releases a heavy exhale and nods.

"Thank you, Nines... So-"

He's able to see the movement from his peripheral; someone else is in the room now, and it's not even a second after his eyes land on the person, he freezes. It's very brief, but there's an immediate swell of... relief.

Relief, surprise, and-... guilt.

It all slams across his face faster than he can stop it from happening. He quickly lowers his head for a moment, not understanding his own feelings here. As quickly as he can manage, he reels it all in. He fights back the urge to release a wry-sounding laugh of sorts. Get it together, Kurusu...

"... Hungry?"

Hungry is a feeling, right? And doesn't elaborate on his mental state! A win/win. He takes a quiet breath and looks up to Akechi now. The surprise is no longer there, but the relief lurks beneath the surface, right along with some of that lingering guilt. There are a lot of things he could say, but--

"I'm sorry."

--guess this is where we're starting. He lowers his gaze to the floor. Damn if he doesn't have a million questions, though. He sifts through all the information he's learned, his mind circling back to an earlier one.

He looks to Nines, "So... about that clinic you were talking about," he starts, then looks back to Akechi as he asks, "What clinic?"

"Good, you made it!" 9S greets the other boy with a smile, the good mood Akira put him in still bubbling over. He doesn't appear to catch the nuanced looks either of the humans share, instead taking Akira's words at face value to dive towards their next destination. What's important here is to make Akira as comfortable and happy as possible in his time of need.

"You can worry about that later. You humans need food to function properly, right? Finding you something to eat should be our top priority."

... that's... quite an array of emotion that's flying across Kurusu's face. Especially considering he— probably didn't remember what happened prior to his arrival, right? He didn't know what happened... how he... died. But even if he did... that doesn't necessarily explain the guilt? It's all a bit much to try to decode just standing here, anyway; for now, he ought to just focus on the boy in front of him.

For a moment, he glances over at 9S, a bit... caught off-guard? He probably shouldn't be; the cheerful friendliness seemed to rather be the android's personality (... at least when he wasn't bloodthirsty over Machines...) and wasn't... it wasn't a reflection on their relationship, personally. Still, for a moment, the smile seems to... embarrass him a bit. Ignore the bit of pink on his cheeks? He's just flushed from having walked over here so quick or something. Shush!!

...hungry?

Akechi's not sure if Akira could have come up with something that was more of a non-answer if he tried. And the more he looks at him, the more he can tell... he isn't well. But is that any surprise? He certainly hadn't been doing well prior to his death, either. Why should things be any different now?

Slowly, his gaze falls to the ground. It's his fault.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no. Why is this idiot apologizing again? Why? For fuck's sake, he should just get angry already. He should just take all his anger out on Akechi. Why won't he just do that?

"Don't," he responds, softly. After a moment of hesitation... he extends a hand in offering to Akira. "Come. There's food back at the clinic."

Edited 2018-03-23 05:25 (UTC)

For a moment, he actually... stares... at the hand. With his memories a jumbled jigsaw puzzle right now, he can't for the life of him piece together a proper picture of why or how he should be responding to Akechi. But there isn't too much of pause before he takes the hand, letting himself be helped to his feet.

"Don't what?"

... Should he have asked? Heh. Doesn't matter, does it? His expression is a forced kind of calm as he looks at the older teen for a moment, and then... glances away.

"We should talk later..."

Talk... After they leave here, they won't be able to verbally do it, right? He releases a sigh and glances at the door. Some part of him regrets that they'll even have to leave here, since it's like a different world out there. Sure, he's always been on the quiet side, but that doesn't mean he enjoys hearing only silence.

If anything, he remembers it driving him up the wall a little...

"Right then... let's go," he says as he turns and starts out the door.

Boy, this atmosphere sure is heavy. 9S glances between the two humans again, and he knows there's...so much he's missing. Not just contextually, but in his own understanding of human kinship and family. He has a feeling that "talk" will exclude him, but that doesn't mean he won't try and eavesdrop.

"I'll guard the rear." 9S offers, taking his place at the back. Really, this is just his excuse to watch them more carefully.

"Apologize," he responds simply. As he helps Kurusu up, he draws strength from the warmth and solidity of his hand. He's here. He's alive. For once in his life, the worst thing possible hadn't happened to Akechi. The worst thing possible hadn't happened to somebody he cared about. He was fortunate.

That's why when he lets go, his hand lingers for a brief moment. But Kurusu's revival isn't enough on its own to completely lift the weight of guilt from his shoulders. He still inevitably led him to his death.

Talk, hm...? Heh, he's... not looking forward to that. But he nods, if... stiffly.

He glances at the android, almost as if for a moment he'd forgotten 9S was there, before he walks out with Kurusu. He's still taking him in as they walk, his footsteps, the sight of him, everything being reassuring. Haha, damnit... he really can't stop caring, can he? When he left, the absence was like a hole in his life. A hole of— the only person here who really knew him... and somehow accepted him for who he was.

One he drove to his death.

He really fucking hates himself, and his hand twitches, too eager to curl into a fist to release some of that anger and pain, but he stops himself.

Getting upset won't help anyone. Least of all Kurusu.

Apologize...

That's exactly what he'd expected to hear. He doesn't respond beyond giving a nod to Nines at his words. And he doesn't say anything as they walk. There is a glance to Akechi as a silent request for him to lead the way.

It's after they arrive at the clinic, Akira's taking a moment to look around - he doesn't recognize any of this...

With a frown, he looks to the floor. It's with a silent sigh, he turns to look at the pair; he briefly reaches into his pocket for his phone...

... Hm? Where is it...? He pats both pockets for a moment, and then gives a very slight tilt of his head as he looks to Akechi... then Nines. The question may or maybe not be obvious before he lifts both hands.

'Did I... lose my phone when... I died?'

The hesitation isn't simply because of the topic - he is having trouble remembering the words. Not that he forgot everything he learned; his knowledge wasn't exactly super expansive, even before he died. Granted, just coming back from the Reset Room, his thoughts are a bit occupied and scattered.

Despite the awkwardness of their entire walk to the clinic, 9S perks up to offer Akira a smile when he looks back at him. That smile flickers at the question, but only briefly as he realizes he has the answer.

Oh, right! Akechi kept it safe for you.

He can see the frustration on Akira's features when they come back and there's not the slightest look of recognition in his eyes. He may as well have walked into an entirely new establishment for the first time. His brow furrows slightly at the signs of discouragement. Actually, all in all, Akira seems incredibly... subdued. Not at all indicative of the spitfire leader he'd grown to know, who was itching for a good struggle and to promote justice in an unfair world.

His gaze lingers on him contemplatively, then flick down to his hands, hesitant and uncertain in their movements. Phone... oh. Realization immediately flickers to his eyes, and he has to stop the kneejerk reaction of reaching into his pocket.

I will go get it.

He sticks to simple words and phrases, mindful of Akira's struggling memory, as he turns and heads into the room. It's... all for show, of course, because the device was with him the entire time, but Akira might have... questions, if he just pulls it out of his pocket. And— he already has enough to think about.

So he pulls it out of his pocket, waits a second more, then comes back and offers it to the other man.

He blinks softly, glancing from Nines to Akechi. His head tilts just a little in another silent question, but he isn't stopping the older teen from going to get said phone, of course. After it's in his hand, he nods in gratitude.

'Thanks. I hope it wasn't much trouble..'

Well... given how things had become, as far as he remembers-- Anyway. He's going to release a silent breath, walking around a little bit, peeking into various rooms or spaces.

'What's this place for... exactly? Is there no actual doctor here?'

9S watches Akechi with a certain intensity as he leaves the room.

...Why did he do that? He had the device right on him. What was the purpose of pretending to get it from the other room?

Despite realizing this, he doesn't say anything as Akechi presents it to Akira. He simply watches to see if Akira notices himself, which doesn't seem to be the case.

You're the doctor, Akira.

Hey, 9S, how about: don't judge him???

Akechi is studiously not looking at the android— don't give him away!!— and is instead observing Akira. Why was he... like this? He'd given his life for Akechi, certainly, but that— that shouldn't cause him to be like this?

Are you ill?

Right after he finishes signing, he raises his left hand, pressing the back of it to Akira's forehead. Fuzzy memories were a side-effect, yes... maybe some sort of illness was, too? But he hadn't heard of anything like that from the natives...

Doctor...?

For a moment, he seems to be waiting for some kind of punchline. Him? A doctor? How...? Well, no, more like... why? Isn't there somebody around here with medical experience, who'd handle this kind of thing better than him? All he has is an array of spells, but would that kind of thing even work here?

'How did I manage that...?'

But then Akechi's asking that question and touching his forehead. Akira's blinking softly, and then... frowning. Is he ill? Something about that question actually... irritates the hell out of him. It's not even anger at Akechi, per se. But... right. Of course. He's the ever-calm, levelheaded leader of the thieves, right?

Pull it together, Kurusu... His expression quickly shifts into something even calmer. More... "put together." He's fin- he'll be fine, just as soon as his head clears. As soon as he can remember what the hell motivated him to guide a team through everything they apparently went through together. Or... even how he gained their trust, in the first fucking place???

... Calm...

'Just hungry and tired.'

9S isn't judging, he's just observing and mapping out how to approach Akechi about the matter later. His lips quirk into a frown as Akechi frets over Akira. Akira, who was clearly not telling them something.

Is that really all?

He signs the words before he has time to think better of just putting his suspicions out there. 9S quickly backpedals, trying to soften the blow.

I mean, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong.

Of course he sees Akira carefully trying to conceal his expression as soon as Akechi says that, and it... stings... but he tries not to focus on that. What's clear is by the way that he reacted, something is troubling him.

...just hungry and tired... Akira expects him to believe that? Even 9S is skeptical.

His hand falls away, and he looks to the android expressing his concern, quiet, conflict in his eyes. Why does it suddenly— matter to him so much that Akira be okay? Haha, maybe it's because... the last time he was doing unwell... His stomach twists, and his hand twitches at his side.

He draws in a breath, then slowly brings up his hands to sign:

If you really don't want to, you don't have to talk to us, but He hesitates for a moment. A couple moments.

What is he doing? What should he be doing? He suddenly seems at a complete loss for how to handle this situation. He'd treated Akira almost exclusively with ire since he came, and now he's suddenly— afraid of pushing him?

I should go get you some fresh fruit.

Is he actually nervous? Apparently so, because before anyone has a chance to protest, he hurries out the door.

Edited (idk if i like this better but huffs) 2018-04-13 00:11 (UTC)

... The amount of conflict in his gut is... surprising. He looks to Nines for a moment, some consideration ghosting over his face. He lowers his gaze, up until he sees the older teen's hands lifting. And... there's surprise on his face, almost immediately. Why does Akechi seem this worried? Before he has a chance to stop it, his hands lift--

'-but...?'

His mouth opens just a little as he watches the brunette leave. For just a split second, he wants to take off after him. To stop him. To figure out what the rest of that sentence was going to be. Instead, he looks to Nines.

Akira's shoulders sag a little. But, after holding a blink, he releases a quiet exhale, shaking his head. A wry smile appears on his lips, and he begins moving his hands:

'I can't... remember how I even met him. I can't remember how I became friends with the people I care most about. Not just that, though...'

There's a pause after he scrubs a hand through his hair.

'... I know you want to help. But there's nothing that could help this.'

Aside from time, right?

9S gives Akechi a look of betrayal. Seriously, he's being left alone here? He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to comfort Akira or make him talk, or even if he should--

But Akechi is gone, and 9S is left to nervously turn back towards Akria. It's only as he reads his words that his doubts disappear, and he understands.

Don't worry, your memories will come back. When I "reset", I couldn't remember anything either...but you told me that it would be okay, and it took some time, but it was. That's actually how we met! I don't know how you met Akechi, but I'm sure if you ask he'll be happy to tell you, right?

9S punctuates with a smile.

It doesn't have to be all bad. Think of this like a chance...to meet someone important to you for the first time all over again.

It's not all that far into Nines' words, Akira's eyes widen just a bit. The more Nines talks, the more his expression softens. With the smile and the latter words, he does manage to give a smile. There's a hint of sadness, but it's clear that he's being comforted by the intentions - it... really is the thought that counts, huh?

'You're right.'

Almost sheepishly, he rubs a hand at the back of his neck, glancing around for a moment...

'... I'm sorry it had to happen to you, too. And I hate that it's while we're stuck in a situation like this...'

He's pausing to twist a strand of his bangs for a moment, and then he nods. Even with his eyes holding a hint of lingering regrets (and possibly some of that persistent sadness), the words are fully meant; his gestures and his expression are genuine.

'But I'm glad you're here, and I'm happy that we met. Thank you, Nines.'

9S lowers his head a bit, his smile soft and a little sheepish.

I'm lucky to have met someone like you, Akira...

A little more seriously, he adds. I'll protect you this time. I swear.

He can't help the small smile that appears in response to that expression. This guy... really should be told things like this more often, shouldn't he?

'I'm lucky to have someone like you at my side.'

A-ah... a promise like that... is- Honestly, the thought of someone dying in his place sends a cold chill down his spine. Something unpleasant twists in his gut, and he has to fight to keep his expression steady. He could probably protest until he was blue in the face, and it would only ever accomplish what it would have with his friends, back home...

'Just don't do anything reckless, trying to accomplish that...'

He takes his time, retrieving food for Akira.

He doesn't want to be upset. Akira's been through a lot. He just died, his memories are foggy, and clearly something is going on that's upsetting him. He has every reason not to want to open up to Akechi. And yet all he can say, with a snide little voice in his head, is I wonder why that is?

God... he hates himself.. so fucking much! If he could be just about any other person in the world, he would trade places in a heartbeat. Because Goro Akechi is a selfish boy, thinking only of himself and he destroys all the people who care about him, just by virtue of being himself.

Heh... dimly, he thinks to himself, this is the opposite of not getting upset. But he lets the native at the greenhouse know that Akira's revived and he gets a kiwi and starts making his way back.

He shouldn't push him. Maybe... with time, Akira would open up. (He doubts that). All he can do is express his worries, and offer a place for him to vent, should he need it. Because it is... really upsetting, to see him like this. (And a venomous voice in his head keeps shouting, "You're the one to blame.")

When he comes back, he doesn't feel... less upset, maybe, but he feels a little calmer and a little more able to approach the situation. He walks over to Akira, and offers the Kiwi.

Why are the two of you still standing around? Kurusu, if you're tired, you ought to take a seat.

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